Be a Homeschool Super Mom
A Bluffers Guide !
Have you always wanted to be a Homeschool Super Mom?
Well, now you can! Follow my 10 point Bluffers Guide to become the type of homeschooler you hate to meet!
10 Step Bluffers Guide
- Bake your own Bread. Forget the children's education - this is the number one skill you MUST master. Baking bread is actually not that difficult. The trick is not letting anyone see the 27 loaves on your bird table that the kids have refused to eat! Personally, I think that just the smell of baking bread says it all - now, I wonder where the supermarkets get that 'baking bread' smell from!
- Have lots of children. The more children you are able to tow around behind you, the more kudos you will get. If it's not convenient to have lots yourself then do borrow other peoples - they will be glad of the free childcare. (WARNING- read points 3 and 4 before selecting the temporary kids).
- Have well behaved children. Ideally, they should be polite and enthusiastic! If yours aren't up to it (and all attempts at bribery fail) then I should lend them out to someone else and get new ones (see point 2).
- Have highly academic children. This shouldn't be too hard to bluff! Train them to say intellegent things like "Mommy, doesn't that building look like it was built in the style of Adolf Loos". It is VITAL that you do not let anyone talk to the children though, or they will blow your cover. Of course, this will mean they grow up unsocialised, but that's a price worth paying!
- Have an immaculate house. Too difficult? Simply transpose pictures of your children (doing interesting homeschooly type things) onto photographs of show-homes - and hand them around freely at homeschool groups. You can see how to do this here. Warning - do NOT let anyone come visit - this will also help with the bread issue in point 1.
- Be organic/vegan/self-sufficient. At least in public. If you get caught coming out of McDonalds, smile and say it was a field trip.
- Have a supportive, loving partner. Make sure to point out the dozen roses he sent you in the photographs you made up for point 5! If yours doesn't really pass muster you may need to skip homeschool family picnics - just say that being organic/vegan/self-sufficient you are unable to eat the food there.
- Have an interesting hobby. If you can't take up Formula One racing, then at least try to make your current hobby sound interesting. Knitting is out, but knitting a 20foot sculpture from plastic bags for the local museum in in!
- Always look relaxed and smiling. This may be difficult due to the assortment of children you have in tow - Good Luck!! Remember, no-one said becoming a homeschool super mom was easy!
- Always be sure to know some great homeschooling ideas. Now this one is easy - just sign up for my Homeschooling-ideas Newsletter in the box below and I will email you some every month!
Congratulations! You are now fully qualified to become a Homeschool Super Mom.
Good luck - and remember - if you see me, just keep on walking!!