Socialisation in a Small Community

by Canda
(BVI)

I have to come back to this topic every so often. I always feel validated when I read posts about the richness of socialization homeschoolers actually get.

I live in a very small community & am about the only one setting out to homeschool a 5 yr old. Everyone I knew with babies sent them to preschool at 3 yrs & now they are all full time in school.
Sometimes it is hard to find playates & many of the pals I had have no 'use' for us now - they are so set up with playdates from school.

I used to fret over denying my child access to them but really, as the year goes on & find it is not as big an issue as I sometimes think. She gets alot of interaction as we run errands around town & many of the shop keepers spend time with her. We do school work int he local coffee shop once or twice a week to ring the changes.

The main thing I lack is time for myself & support from other adults.

This is compounded because my daughter just does not seem to wan tot do any of the after school clubs! We have tried ballet/dance (twice round), tennis, art, gardening etc She ended up resisting all for them after a week or 2, just not interested even though she was happy to be away from me for the hour. That alone was a big part of not sending her to school in the first place. We tried the Montessori school (not very Montessori really I think) but their induction protocol was so harsh it trauamtised her! No lead in at all or gradual disconnection from parents.

We thought we had found the best thing in Brownies which lasted a whole month. Now she is fretting over that claiming she'd rather stay home.

In part I understand I can wait for growth. She is young, sensitive (as was I) & in no hurry to make her stamp on anything.

I just would like the support to be able to leave her with someone she loved & trusted but the only few friends like that have left the area. We live in a transient kind of place.

OK, sorry if this is incoherent...you invited us to vent ;o)

My daughter & I have a very close relationship. Should I be concerned that there is so little sign of her wanting to be with others? Gee - she is not even 6 yet! My instincts say not to worry, it would just help to have a human friend validate me as we are one of a kind here!

My reply:

Hi Canda. I would say you should trust your instincts :) Your daughter sounds happy and can be social when she needs to be.

She is only 5 - my children definitely weren't interested in going to groups at that age. In fact my son refused to join any type of group until he was 11 - at which point he announced he would like to go on a Kids Adventure holiday (like a summer camp) for a week by himself. He did - and he loved it. He certainly didn't seem to have any problems with joining in or being part of the team.

Just keep letting her try things and going at her own pace. I think it is the best thing you could be doing.
best wishes, Julie.

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Oct 05, 2015
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Good post NEW
by: Mrs. Antoinette Kassulke

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May 30, 2013
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by: Lorid

I would also comment that many "groups" are set up as "schools" and many home school kids balk at this type of organization because they are use to being "free" to learn. My oldest was like that just wanted nothing to do with them. I would not worry at all.

I would continue to try and find home school friends and or find or create a support group. I had to create one because there was none where I moved to and it turned out there were lots of home schoolers they just weren't "connected" in any way.

Even if the friends you make are transient you and your daughter can still stay connected via pen pals or email. Stay in touch.

For yourself I would continue to read home schooling books and find online support until you have someone closer. Everyone needs someone. Someone to cast their worries to, someone to celebrate the joys of homeschooling, someone to vent to on a bad day, and someone to just chat with.

Continue to search for what you need to make home schooling work for you and your daughter.

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